Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 16 April 2013

image for Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne's Marriage Is Heading For The Rock & Roll Rocks
The once happy couple Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne shown at a Burger Bandit in Beverly Hills. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

LOS ANGELES - It looks like the 31 year marriage between Sharon Osbourne and her Prince of Darkness rock music icon, Ozzy is shakier than John Goodman standing on a plywood platform.

Reports coming out of the Left Coast are that the once-happy-as-hell couple has separated.

Kiowa Kettle with Tittle Tattle Tonight managed to speak with both parties. She said that Sharon, 60, told her that she still kinda loves Ozzy but she has gotten to the point where it has become harder and harder for her to understand what the heck he is saying.

She noted that at first she could pretty much make out about 91 percent of what he was saying, but she added that just since this past Valentine's Day the percentage number has dropped down to 63 percent.

The former America's Got Talent judge remarked that Ozzy's hearing is not as sharp as it once was. She said that two days before they separated she asked him if he wanted a plate of chicken enchiladas.

The 64-year-old former rock legend looked at her and replied, "Dadadadammit woman, you kkkkkknow I hate sauerkrakrakraut!"

When Kettle spoke with Ozzy she asked him if there was any hope that he and Sharon could iron out their differences and get back together.

He grinned, took a drink of his Aye Caramba Beer, and asked, "Who dadada hell is Betty?"

'Tittle Tattle Tonight' will stay with the story and bring you any further developments as they develop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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