Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 14 April 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan Says David Letterman Begged Her Not To Walk Off His Show
David showed Lindsay some very revealing photos of himself during her recent TV appearance.

VENICE BEACH - The much troubled Tinsel Town starlet Lindsay Lohan has turned down an offer to appear on Jay Leno's Tonight Show.

Lohan stated that due to her appearance on Late Night With David Letterman where Alfred E. Neuman (Letterman) ambushed her like he did she has become extremely gun shy.

"Lucky" Lindsay told iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli that she stood up and started to walk off during the first commercial but Davey got down on his knees and begged her not to leave.

She told him that she was not going to put up with anymore BS coming out of his gap-toothed mouth.

Lohan yelled that he had promised her backstage before the show that he would not mention her freckles, her hairdo, her lips, or the fact that she was not wearing any panties.

Letterman reportedly took out his wallet and offered her $400 if she would agree to stay. Lohan took the money and put it in her bra.

Lindsay told Miss Vermicelli that she got a thrill and a half showing Mr. Letterman that she had bigger ovaries than he had.

"But Letterman does not have any ovaries" the iRumors reporter remarked.

"Oh but he does," Lohan said with a big smirk on her face. "Let me tell you that the old-as-the-hills Indiana Hoosier does in fact have ovaries...he actually showed me three photos during the second commercial break."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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