Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 13 April 2013

image for Madonna Turns Down A Role In A Porn Movie
Madonna has said that her nude posing days are over thanks to the dreaded cellulite.

NEW YORK CITY - Madonna has lately been complaining that hardly anyone calls her anymore in regards to recording a song, appearing in a movie, or appearing on a late night talk show.

So it was astounding when a Hollywood producer recently contacted her and offered her a role in a porn movie.

The 54-year-old ex-Material Girl was to have starred with noted porn actors Hank Hoytfipple, Pretzel Garibaldi, and Consuelo Diamondheart in the X-rated production of The Scandalously Sex Starved Zombies of Vermont.

When Madonna was asked by Margarita Mixx with The Tinsel Town Times Tribune why she turned the role down Madonna just scratched her head and looked away.

She then told the 5T reporter that the reason why she turned the role down was because about seven of the scenes in which she would have appeared had her completely naked.

Mixx got a puzzled look on her face. Madonna then added that even though she still has an astonishingly sexy body, she has noticed lately that she is getting bits of cellulite on her upper thighs.

She also remarked that she has spider veins on her hips, blemishes on her lower back, and a big liver spot on her butt.

The New York City songstress was reminded that those things could all be covered up with different kinds of feminine creams and salves.

Madonna giggled and said that she just has to face the music (no pun intended) and realize that her nude posing days are all behind her now.

Mixx then confided to her that now that she had mentioned it the cellulite on her upper thighs is extremely noticeable.

And with that Madonna went ballistic. She began calling Miss Mixx every curse name in the book and even some that aren't in the book.

She then told her to leave before she acted like a Chow and bit her on the leg.

In Other News. Mitt Romney has divulged that he is writing his memoirs but contrary to the word on the streets the title is not going to be The Life and Times of Mitt The Old Flip-Flopper Romney.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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