Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 10 April 2013

image for Dancing With The Stars Eliminates Lisa Vanderpump
Lisa said that during her time on Dancing With The Stars she has really missed eating her favorite food, pizza.

HOLLYWOOD - Olympic gold medalist Aly Raisman danced past country music artist Kellie Pickler and Disney Channel star Zendaya Coleman to capture the top spot on this week's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

Meanwhile Judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman and Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli continued their bashing of comedian D.L. Hughley, who has just about had his fill of the Twit Twins as he calls them.

Host Tom Bergeron keeps telling D.L. not to be offended at the caustic judges remarks. And Hughley keeps saying that if the Limey and the Anchiove ever saunter into his neighborhood the brothers will turn them into human piƱatas.

He smiled and said that he knows at least 30 hood sistas who can take both pansies and turn them into bowls of grits.

One of the crowd favorites Andy Dick is still in the competition thanks in part to his fantastically sexy dance partner Sharna Burgess, a native of Australia.

Andy did find himself in the Bottom 3 along with boxing champion Victor Ortiz and his partner Lindsay Arnold and Beverly Hills Money Mama Lisa Vanderpump and her partner Gleb Savchenko.

Andy and Sharna danced to the Beatles song "Eleanor Rigby." Victor and Lindsay danced to the Johnny Horton song, "The Battle of New Orleans" and Lisa and Gleb danced to the Toni Basil song "Mickey."

During rehearsals Lisa fainted and hit the tile floor with her bosom. Gleb blushed as he said that the fall left bruises on Lisa's boobs that resembled the Solomon Islands.

At the end Tom cued the go home music and revealed that the celebrity going home was Lisa Vanderpump.

She thanked the judges, the cast, the crew, the hosts, and Sally Vexvittle, the DWTS crew member who does everyone's spray on tans except of course for D.L. Hughley and Jacoby Jones.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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