Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 8 April 2013

With medical and personal privacy no longer in operation among New England fans, inquiring minds are demanding to know whether Rob Gronkowski has become a pariah.

Reports from unknown sources are circulating that the big tight end and superstar dancer still has an infection.

No, it's not STD, but the way the fans are carrying on, you would think that Gronk had become the incarnation of Typhoid Mary and was sinking every player on the team that he contacted.

Gronk suffers from a long-term infection from the metal plate put into his arm to help him heal. Medical miracles are not piling up at Gillette.

Apparently, the plate has caused Gronk long-term pain and suffering that antibiotics cannot cure.

Reports are circulating that Gronkowski will undergo more surgery and will miss time well into the training season. Whether this causes him to miss games in the real season only his doctors know-and they're not saying.

Gronk did not pick up his infection from kissing or dancing, nor from minions and sycophants among his fanbase. He suffers because a foreign object is under his skin.

Prognosticators are now belittling the Patriots for signing a player who is injury prone and letting an iron man like Wes Welker hit the road. They are also saying Gronk will need prayers to Our Lady of Perpetual Misery, begging for a miraculous recovery for Gronky.

Gronk is starting to look like a man whose white blood corpuscles are sending up a red flag. The Patriot superstar has not caught anything deadly-but it's beginning to look like he may not be catching any pigskin for a long time to come.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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