Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 9 April 2013

image for Shakira's Ex-Boyfriend $uing Her For $100 Million!
Shakira's hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

EL SEGUNDO, California - Shakira had just finished having breakfast at The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant in El Segundo when she was approached by Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight.

He told the 36-year-old stunning blonde that she has never looked better. Shakira gave de Gallo a big hug and a kiss and thanked him for his kind words.

He asked her how she likes her new gig of being a mentor on The Voice. The Colombian belly dancer - singer beamed with joy and said that she loves it; especially since she is the lone female on the panel of four mentors.

She added that she enjoys trying to put veteran Voice members Blake Shelton and Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine in their places.

The woman whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour said that she has an advantage over Shelton, Levine, and Usher in that she can sit and argue with them and then toss in some select R-rated words in Spanish that totally throw them off track.

She said that she can easily fool the country boy (Shelton) by telling him that she was merely mentioning different kinds of southern dishes.

De Gallo asked Shakira about the recent matter of her ex-boyfriend Antonio de la Rua filing a $100 million lawsuit against her.

The "Hips Don't Lie" singer said that Tony has some nerve suing her and claiming that she was successful because of him.

Shakira said that she was already famous before Tony had even gotten to first base with her back in 2000.

She pointed out that Tony has always been a spoiled brat living off of his rich daddy Fernando de la Rua who was the former president of Argentina.

Shakira disclosed that she is not the least bit worried about the lawsuit because she has an ace up her sleeve who has said that he is going to have a nice little talk with Mr. Antonio de la Rua.

SIDENOTE: The Colombian singer giggled and said that the ace's name is Salvatore Goombalini, head of Brooklyn's notorious Goombalini family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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