Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 6 April 2013

image for Justin Bieber Sells His Wyoming Ranch
Justin said that the ranch foreman Ambrose "Slim" Slimarelli (Shown) will be staying on with the new owner.

LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber is concerned that he may be having to shell out some big bucks due to a couple of lawsuits that have been filed against him.

One lawsuit contends that Bieber spat on his neighbor because he complained that Bieber's three cats were meowing too loud.

Another lawsuit that is in the process of being filed deals with Justin losing his temper and lashing out at Afro Sheen Magazine reporter LaSabrosa Windwater.

Miss Windwater alleges that Mr. Bieber made some references to her ethic background like the kind that Quentin Tarantino wrote in his jive-ass movie Django Unchained (Windwater's words).

She said that since the incident she has not been able to sleep, drink, or play Angry Birds. She went on to say that she is willing to settle out of court for $1.8 million.

Meanwhile Justin's mom Pattie Lynn "Dimples" Mallette has just about had it with the wild Lindsay Lohanesque antics of her son and she has threatened to put him up for adoption.

She did remark that there is no truth to the rumor that Jenny McCarthy has already contacted her about the possibility of adopting Justy.

Justin told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that in order to raise some capital he has gone ahead and sold his Wyoming ranch.

The 901 acre Bluffing Buffalo Hooves Ranch is located just outside of Cheyenne.

When asked how much he sold the ranch for, Bieber said that it was no one's business but his and Clint Eastwood's who purchased the ranch.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Ryan Seacrest and asked him if he knew how much Eastwood paid for Bieber's Wyoming ranch. Ryan told me that the figure was $1.8 million.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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