Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 1 April 2013

image for Joan Rivers Launches Verbal Jabs At Adele
It's been reported that Joan Rivers takes six Mean Pills every day. (Photo courtesy of Melissa Rivers).

MANHATTAN - Joan Rivers, the undisputed Queen of Mean has shown exactly why her and Omarosa are considered by many to be The Terrible Twins of Television.

Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors reported that Rivers, who is 79 going on 12, is still the bitter beatch she has been for the past 60 plus years.

Joan The Moan appeared on Regis Philbin and Larry King's new talk show The Viagra View.

She was asked by Philbin, 81, if she had apologized to Adele for having made some hateful comments about her.

Rivers blinked twice and informed him that Kim Kardashian will win an Oscar before that happens.

The Yiddish Yakker went on to say that when she saw Adele at the Academy Awards she noticed the British fatty was wearing jewelry made out of candy.

Joan then commented that Adele is a great singer and noted, imagine how much better she could sing if her vocal cords weren't being constantly hammered by all that food.

Larry King, who is 79, shook his head and remarked that Joan has got to be one of the biggest button pushers in the entire country.

Joan turned to Larry and said that she heard that he has lured all of his young wives with Girl Scout Cookies.

Miss Rangoon stated that when she talked to Adele over the phone the English singer conveyed to her that when Rivers hugged her at the Academy Award Show she detected a tremendously hideous plastic smell.

She further pointed out that Joan's face can best be described as Yucksville. Adele raised her eyebrows and said that she was actually afraid that Joan's face was going to pop like a balloon right before her very eyes.

Adele told Regis and Larry that to be truthful, Joan Rivers' mean-spirited remarks don't really bother her because she just considers the source, which she said is a demonic-looking space alien who gave birth to a horse.

In Other News. Reports are that Beyonce received an invitation from North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to entertain the North Korean troops. She stated that the funky-looking Michelin Man with a black beaver sitting on top of his head is not only crazy, but he's stupid as hell as well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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