Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 31 March 2013

image for Kris Humphries Says Kim Kardashian Is Looking Like The Goodyear Blimp
Kanye West says that Kim gave him the basketball that Kris autographed and gave to her.

NEW YORK CITY - Kris Humphries of the Brooklyn Nets was visiting a friend in Coney Island when he was asked about his wife Kim Kardashian (the two are still legally married).

Humphries made a face and told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that her question almost made him choke on his Coney Island hot dog.

Miss Chipotle apologized and told him that she should have realized that Kim is a sore subject.

Kris nodded his head and said that there is no one on the face of the earth that he despises more than Kim; except for maybe that North Korean Pillsbury Doughboy-looking dude Kim Jong Un and that GOP mouthpiece Laura Ingraham who resembles a senior citizen version of Rielle Hunter.

Humphries caught himself and said, "Hey number one and number two on my hate list are both named Kim. What are the friggin odds on that?"

Miss Chipotle, who is a math whiz, thought for a moment and replied that the odds were 713,819 to 1.

Kris was asked if he had seen any photos of his pregnant wife. He started laughing and said tongue in cheek that when he first saw the pictures he had to do a double take.

When asked why, he remarked that for a few moments he actually thought that it was a photo of the Goodyear Blimp but then he looked a bit closer and realized that the Goodyear Blimp does not have tons and tons of make up.

Humphries said that according to the news media, Kim is five months pregnant. He got a grin on his face and started laughing. When he composed himself he said that Kim's butt looks like it's six months pregnant.

SIDENOTE: Kim has stated that President Obama has told her that she needs to get her divorce taken care of before the baby is born or else she could end up getting hit with a federal fine of up to $10,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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