Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 29 March 2013

image for American Idol: Mariah Carey's Favorite Gets Sent Home
Devin Velez shown flying back to his home in Chicago. (Photo by Mariah Carey).

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol's last three remaining male singers ended up in this week's Bottom 3.

Burnell Taylor, 19, was quickly allowed by Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest to take a seat with the five remaining girl singers who will all be singing again next week.

That left Devin "The Unicorn" Velez, 18, and "Lucky" Lazaro Arbos, 21, in the Bottom 2.

Arbos, who is the weakest singer of the eight remaining singers was saved leaving Velez to sing for the judges and hope that they would save him.

As he sang Mariah Carey cried a lot of tears since from the very beginning Devin has been one of her favorites.

Randy "The Dawg" Jackson sat in his seat grinning like the duck that swallowed the cricket as they say down in the bayou's of Louisiana.

Nicki "The Waffle Woman" Minaj sat listening while trying to untangle her outrageously humongous false eyelashes.

And Keith "The Aussie" Urban sang along with Devin. Ryan was reportedly off-stage talking to ex-girlfriend Julianne Hough on his cell phone and telling her that it's over and insisting that she move on as he has clearly done.

After Devin finished singing his swan song "La Bamba" Randy shook his head and told him that they would not be saving him and that he would be heading back to Chicago on the next plane.

Mariah shed more tears and whispered under her breath "dammit, dammit, I hate that circus clown-looking Minaj witch."

An inside source said that Ryan felt so bad about seeing Devin eliminated that he took $200 out of his wallet and gave it to him.

SIDENOTE: Woody The Wonder Woodchuck had predicted that Amber would be safe and the three males would be in the Bottom 3 and that Devin would be the one going home. Woody's record is now 16-2 for the season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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