Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 30 March 2013

image for Sports Territory Magazine Chooses Kate Gosselin As The Nation's #1 MILF
Kate Gosselin shows that at 38, she still got it. (Photo by Tango Brisket).

NEW YORK CITY - Sports Territory Magazine has just named Kate Gosselin of Reading, Pennsylvania as the number one MILF in the entire United States.

Kate, who turned 38, on Thursday March 28, beat out a total of 17,163 other moms from all over the country.

After surviving the initial cut down to 100, she then easily glided into the Top 20.

Then three Sports Territory Magazine executives narrowed it down to the Top 5 at which time they let their male (and female) readers choose the winner.

The fifth place winner received 13 percent of the vote. The fourth place entry received 16 percent of the vote. And the third place contestant was awarded 19 percent of the votes.

The top two finishers were Kate Gosselin star of the reality shows Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8 and the voluptuously stunning Renee Alexis Spellsintino, 43, who works as an envelope stuffer in her hometown of Austin, Texas.

Mrs. Spellsintino received 25 percent of the votes and Kate "The Great" Gosselin was chosen the winner with 27 percent of the vote.

Tango Brisket, senior reporter with Sports Territory Magazine presented Mrs. Gosselin with a four foot tall trophy in her likeness, a check for $17,000, and the keys to a 2013 Fleetwood El Matador RV.

Kate and Renee both wore identical skimpy yellow swimsuits with the Sports Territory Magazine logo sew on the back of the bikini bottom.

Kate Gosselin thanked the crowd in The YeeHaw Room of The Mrs. Bill Clinton Hotel and said that she was thrilled that so many American men find her to be so gosh darn sexually attractive.

SIDENOTE: Kate's ex-boyfriend Russell Brand called her up and told her that no matter what she still has a special place in his heart and added that she also has a special place in the crotch of his pants as well. Kate giggled and replied, "Thanks Rusty...I think."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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