Written by Ossurworld
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Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Rumors circulate that an active gay player will come charging out of his closet in the NFL locker room. He cannot be penalized with a charging call because this is not the NHL.

We presume that an active player may be more interesting than a passive gay player coming out.

If the man in question is a footballer, then we cannot say definitively that he is either a catcher or pitcher.

Gay players usually wait till their playing days are over before they play the field in the media.

Some experts insist this announcement of sexuality will be a brave act, while others may think being gay for pay is actually a fairly calculated arrangement.

We cannot say whether the player will be a top man or a bottom man, in terms of his position in the lineup. This player will not appear in any lineup, not being in MLB.

He won't be a size queen playing with big balls as if he were in the NBA, where playing down low is an art form.

He won't be behind the plate or even behind the candelabra. He won't be wearing a facemask, nor a face guard.

We aren't sure whether he will be fluent in Greek or French. For our part, we keep wondering how many times a player has been asked if he is married or single. Why would anyone care what the proclivities of the athlete may be?

Yet, this issue continues to dominate the media instead of questions about the quality of the player's game.

There are always those who will use their position as a professional athlete as a bully pulpit, ostensibly to further along a supported issue.

Yet, we are left with the nagging feeling that the main reason to come out on any issue is to gain that attention leading to endorsements, pay raises, or just plain spotlight hugging.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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