Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 22 March 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan Is Planning On Fleeing To Mexico
Lindsay Lohan wearing a skirt that was given to her by Rob Pattinson.

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan confessed to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that she is not going to be couped up in a rehab clinic for no 90 days and she is seriously considering fleeing the U.S. and going down to Mexico.

Lohan made a phone call to Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle and expressed to her that the legal system is picking on her simply because she is a beautiful, sexy Hollywood movie star.

She added quasi-conceitedly that any judge in the country would love to do the hokey pokey with her.

The 26-year-old went on to say that she feels that the courts are singling her out just because she has more talent in her left little finger than most celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Ke$ha have in their entire bodies.

Miss Chipotle asked her about the report that Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen wants to take her under his wing and get her back on the right track.

Lohan giggled and said that Charlie wants her alright but it isn't underneath his wing.

She explained that Russell Brand texted her and told her that she can stay at his house and he will talk to her all about his problems with drugs, alcohol, women, and tangled hair.

SIDENOTE: Lindsay disclosed to Miss Chipotle that she will be attending a White House backyard barbecue that President Obama and Michelle are throwing for Scarlett Johansson next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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