Written by Buck E Filbert
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Friday, 22 March 2013

image for Ball Gags, Leather Paddles, Sex Toys, and Joe Jonas, King of Clean Gets Down and Dirty Video Style??
The Crowd Cheers Blanda and Joe On

Rumors are circulating that there is a Jonas Brother sex tape on the horizon.

In a bid to be relevant again Joe Jonas 23 and his girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler 28 had a trusted videographer friend shoot them engaged in sex acts. They then proceeded to download the camera into mts files, then convert them into .mov and edit the footage into something presentable.

The next step is to "accidentally" leak the explicit imagery via hard drive, avi/.mov file, internet upload, dvd.

Sit back, wait, then if anyone notices, deny, deny, deny.

Why would squeeky clean Joe elect to go this route?

Joe has obviously enlisted the services of the evil princess of seedy Hollywood Paris Hilton and the Paris Hilton Agency. The covert Agency is famous for doing underground publicity stunts to catapult up and comers to front page news overnight. They also specialize in reviving fading careers.

The finger print of this sex video obviously has Paris's hands all over it. Paris was responsible for the rash of private flashing all over Hollywood from Lindsay to Tara to Britney all ex clients and graduates of T.P.H.A.. Paris was also instrumental in leaking her own sex tape as well as Kim Kardashian's and a host of other scenes of debauchery.

The highlight of this sex tape is, at one point Blanda is spanking Joe with a paddle and he shouts "Owwwww, don't that hurts". Blanda is the master in this dungeon, house of horrors. Joe does what he's told.

Religion and vows of celibacy will warm your soul...but not as much as Blanda and a leather paddle.

Owwww..!!

As anticipated Joe Jonas denies any involvement in any sex tape and says the stories are all misleading the facts in the issue.

We located Blanda, she was locked in a dungeon strapped to a bench with a ball gag in her mouth. When she was asked about a sex tape she mumbled mmmmm,aaayyy,uuurrrp,mmmm, so was basically unavailable for coherent comment.

If past events are any indication of the future. Where there's ball gags, leather paddles and plastic members, sex is sure to follow.

From Sunset and Vine in Beautiful Downtown Hollywood California 90028
BEF
vagina

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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