Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 21 March 2013

image for Katy Perry Explains Why She Dumped Her Boyfriend John Mayer
Katy told John that he can keep the Bentley that she gave him for Valentine's Day.

LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry says that she is really and truly surprised that her special relationship with John "The Player" Mayer lasted as long as it did.

Perry spoke with Pia Confetti a reporter for Celebrity Globe.

She told her that lots of her friends said that John would eventually dump her, because that is just the nature of the snake-in-the-grass.

Katy kept telling them all that she was going to change him and that she knew that one day they would live in a far away land, in a far away castle, and have far away children.

Just this past February John had commented that Katy was a keeper. And the young woman with the ping pong ball sized eyes was ecstatic to hear those words.

But the "I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It" singer seems to have forgotten that "Player" Mayer has dated and dumped such well-known Hollywood celebrities as Cameron Diaz, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and Taylor Swift.

After Taylor was dumped by John she wrote two songs about him. The first was titled "Dear John" and the second one was titled "Go To Hell You Don Juan Wannabe."

And so after talking with her hair stylist, FuFi Fondue for over an hour, Katy decided that it would be in her best interest to dump Mr. Mayer before he dumped her.

SIDENOTE: Perhaps no one put it better than Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk when she stated that Johnny Mayer goes through girlfriends like Kirstie Alley goes through chocolate cupcakes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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