LOS ANGELES - Well ladies and gentleman, once again, Lindsay Lohan has shown the nation and the civilized world that just like she's said several times, she is just much too pretty to go to prison.
Lohan could have actually called in her latest court appearance. The judge must have felt sorry for her because she had definitely been crying, she was wearing no make up, her hair looked like she got caught in a dust devil, and she looked very, very sad and embarrassed.
The 26-year-old spoiled starlet could have been sentenced to 243 days in prison but instead was given 90 days to serve in a lock-down rehab center, which by national standards is basically a fancy Tinsel Town country club.
The freckled faced felon will also have to do 31 days of community service. Los Angles Judge James "E-Z" Dabney says that he has decided that Miss Lohan will work at a Burger Bandit in Beverly Hills where she will help to chop lettuce for the burgers.
And last but not least, after she serves all of her rehab time and community service time she will be required to attend psychological counseling for 18 months and 3 days.
Lohan will be allowed to pick the psychiatrist of her choice and an inside source said that she has chosen Dr. Pomeroy P. Flibberflax, 71, a Venice Beach sex therapist.
SIDENOTE: Comedian Zydeco Dupree stated that Lohan is treated like a damn queen by the California legal system. He pointed out that the judge said that he did not sentence Miss Lohan to prison time due to the fact that all of the California prisons are overcrowded. Dupree wondered why the judge just didn't release one of the female inmates at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women in L.A. and let Lucky Lohan take her place.