Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 March 2013

image for Ann Coulter Banned From Visiting Iowa
Kathy Griffin (shown in photo) says that Ann Coulter looks like a drinking straw with stringy hair.

DES MOINES, Iowa - The state of Iowa has just issued a mandate which prohibits the Republican know-it-all, better known as Ann Coulter from ever setting foot in the state.

The mandate came about as a direct result of Ann Coulter's recent statement on The View that she hates corn and that there is an ingredient in corn which causes people to uncontrollably utter the word shucks (no pun intended) at some most inopportune times.

Trigger Face, as Coulter is know in both red states and blue states, wanted to make it crystal clear that the rumor about her and Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers is false.

When asked by Political Salad Bar Magazine's Tequila Tallyho to explain her remark, Ann blushed and said that the supermarket tabloid Just Saying had photos which allegedly showed her and Kobe cuddling below the Santa Monica Pier.

Coulter agreed that the woman in the photo did resemble her but it was hard to tell because the woman's back was turned towards the camera and the only thing that anyone viewing the photo could see was a tiny cluster of four freckles on the small of the woman's back.

The GOP maven was quick to point out that she does have a cluster of freckles on the small of her back, but explained that her cluster is only made up of three freckles and not four like the female in the photo.

Coulter was asked about the purple and gold (Lakers colors) pearl necklace which looks exactly like the one she recently wore on an appearance with Jay Leno on The Tonight Show.

Ann blushed and replied that she happens to personally know 6 women who have a necklace that looks very similar to the one she wore during her Tonight Show appearance.

[WRITER'S NOTE: Ann's latest book titled I'm Not Mean or Hateful - I'm Just An Arrogant, Sarcastic, Intelligent As Hell Bitch has been banned in Illinois, Minnesota, Iowa, and Massachusetts.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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