Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 17 March 2013

image for Anderson Cooper Kisses Madonna - Says He's Still Gay
Madonna was asked if Anderson Cooper was as good a kisser as Britney Spears and the "Material Grandmother" replied, "No."

NEW YORK CITY - The GLAAD Awards were presented at New York's Marriott Marquis de Sade Hotel and the biggest part of the event was when Madonna presented Anderson Cooper with an award.

Madonna, was dressed as a Boy Scout and she told the audience she did it to show that even a woman of 54, can pass for a young boy of 12.

Comedian Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin who was sitting in the second row hollered out "Well guess again bitch!"

Madonna shot her the finger (bird) which was electronically erased out.

The show was put on by The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. Ling Chow Rangoon, who covered the event for iRumors, said that she and one of the cameramen were probably the only non gay, non lesbianites there.

Jodie Foster was asked to attend but she said she hates crowds. Melissa Etheridge could not appear as she was performing at a Holiday Inn in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska.

Richard Simmons was absent due to the fact that he wanted to wear rainbow colored short shorts but the shows executives told him that if he did he would be arrested.

Lance Bass, Ricky Martin, and Clay Aiken could not attend because they were in a recording studio in Venice Beach, California working on an Easter CD.

And Adam Lambert was going to perform but had to back out when he realized that he was allergic to Madonna.

Miss Rangoon asked Madonna how she felt being kissed by Anderson Cooper, who received an award for being the gay talk show host with the whitest hair.

Madonna said that the kiss was okay but not anywhere near as good as Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera's kiss.

When Ling Chow caught up with Anderson backstage she asked him how he felt about kissing a woman such as Madonna on the mouth.

He giggled, took a sip of his Virgin Papaya Margarita and replied, "Well, I guess it was okay, but I'm still gay."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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