CHICAGO - Sarah "Snowflake" Palin was in the Windy City speaking before a gathering of The Retired Teabaggers Party of Illinois.
Palin, who has lost so much weight she is beginning to look like a pencil with legs, arms, and a horrific, uncontrolled hairdo, said that she was glad to be back in the Lower 48.
She said she felt sure that her many fans, followers, and fellow teabaggers were all thrilled as hell to see her.
Right away she began her speech by uttering three Palinista phrases to get the crowd in a happy mood.
The Loose Moose giggled, raised her skinny thumb in the air, and said, "You betcha," "Gosh darnit!" and "Gee Willikers."
The crowd started clapping and gave her a sitting ovation. Old Snowballs told them to please keep their seats.
A little old blue-haired lady in the third row, who was later identified as Myrtle Figgleflick, 91, of Cicero replied, "Look around ya toots, we are, ain't a one of us stood up, so move on with your BS session."
"Excuse me?" Palin yelled out with her voicing cracking. "Are you perhaps a Democrat who simply wandered in here off the street to get out of the friggin Chicago wind or what?"
"Your jumbo mama!" yelled out the elderly blue-haired woman.
Reindeer Ovaries Palin was livid. She asked security to remove the disrespectful senior citizen from the hall.
Palin was told that there was no security due to the fact that she's no longer relevant and no one gives a rat's ass about her anymore.
And with that the woman who is now known as Bristol's mommy gathered up her diet wafers and bottle of diet water and stormed off the stage.
SIDENOTE: Even fellow Republican Ann Coulter has mentioned on several occasions that "Dog Sled" Palin is a political has-been and she needs to get herself back to her home Casa Moscow in Wasilla, Alaska and retire to a life of baking caribou gizzard cookies, salmon pizza, and reindeer jerky.