Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 March 2013

image for Elin Nordegren Rejects Tiger Wood's Marriage Proposal
Elin recently remarked to Barbara Walters that her ex-husband Tiger Boy will never, ever touch her svelte body again.

NORTH PALM BEACH, Florida - Elin Nordegren has said that she does not care to play a second round of having her husband cheat on her with starstruck blonde bimbo's.

The former Mrs. Tiger Woods told Hollywood Innuendo that she is quite content with her single life and will not make the same mistake twice.

Nordegren, who is a stunning looking 33-year-old Swedish blonde, informed Fajita San Guacamole with HI that there is just no way in the world that she could ever again trust Eldrick Tont Woods.

The mother of two, who has a great sense of humor, recently remarked to the news media that she trusts Tiger Boy about as far as she can throw Melissa McCarthy or John Goodman.

She added that Woods, 37, was so desperate to remarry her that he even offered to sign a pre-nup non-cheating clause which stated that in the event that he cheated on her he would pay her the sum of $317 million.

Nordegren responded by saying that marrying him would be like being married to an NBA basketball team.

She then remarked that Tiger the Troll can just go back to his FIB's (flaky infatuated blondes).

Tiger was reached at an IHIPHOP Soul Food Restaurant in Santa Monica and he stated that he is disappointed that Elin will not give him a second chance but he smiled and said that he still has Lindsey Vonn as a backup.

The 28-year-old Vonn is a gorgeous Olympic gold medalist skier. She's 5-foot-10-inches tall and reportedly treats Tiger like he's the president of Upper Zamgola.

To view some rather explicit photos of Elin Nordegren that were taken last summer on the beaches of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, go to www.elinnordegrenyummyyummyyummy.hot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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