Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 9 March 2013

image for The Demi Moore - Ashton Kutcher Divorce: Moore Says It's Not About Money, It's About Revenge
Demi says she doesn't need the money but she is going to take AK to the cleaners anyway.

LOS ANGELES - Demi Moore is 50 years old and she like thousands of women, openly married a much younger man in hopes that he would make her feel years and years younger.

But as studies have shown, May-December marriages very rarely work out because after too long the young male gets a wandering eye and he starts seeing women who are closer to his age and who fit in with his new found joy of wow-wowism.

It has happened to celebrity female cougar after celebrity female cougar since talking pictures first came into being.

Kutcher had been after Moore to grant him a divorce for over a year, but she has resisted perhaps hoping that her young, white knight in shining armor would return to her castle and once again bed the Royal Queen of LaLaLand.

But alas, as Billy Shakespeare used to say in many of his writings, "Hark y'all, dat just ain't gonna be happenin', no way, no how, no sir or madam whichever da lower or upper case may be."

And now that Kutcher has filed for divorce Demi has made it abundantly clear that she is hurt by the fact that Ashton is dating a much younger, much prettier, and much nicer woman (Mila "Mmmm-Mmmm" Kunis).

Bedroom Pillow Talk's Gazebo Serengeti recently said it best when he remarked that Queen Demi - the Royal Queen of Bitterness has now lost most of her tan in a can luster and she has developed a slight tinge of green envyitus around the Tinsel Town gills.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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