Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 7 March 2013

We've got Carl Crawford where we want him.

Crawford has something stuck in his craw, and it's the Boston media. In his weekly dump on Boston, this time he complained vociferously about the media.

Grousing season has begun, and it is open season on perennially injured non-superstars.

We feel like the Geico gazelles with night glasses on. We see you Carl, warts and all.

The man who put Red Sox flopperoo of 1962, Roman Meijias, to shame, fails to see his own flip flop of 2012.

At least Meijias lasted two full seasons before he bailed out on the infamous Sox teams. Meijias disappeared after his jail sentence with the Boston media. Not so for Crawford who continues to ask for more parole hearings than one of the Manson gang.

This time Carl contends that Boston has the worst media he ever experienced in his life. Well, it's certainly a two-way street as Boston media never saw a worse $140million dollar bust.

Crawford believes everyone in Boston wanted to see him fail from the get-go. Problem is, Carl. You never had a get-go. He was DOA, kaput, and damaged goods.

If there ever was a money-back guarantee, the Red Sox needed it when the slowest speedster in Sox history put on the brakes.

Now Crawford is not performing on the field in Los Angeles, but he has created a cottage industry as a grouser in La-La Land. It will make him close to $140million for sure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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