Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 March 2013

image for Dennis Rodman Rejects Ann Coulter's Overtures
Dennis said that there are just no sparks between him and Ann Coulter.

TRENTON, New Jersey - Dennis Rodman traveled to Trenton to visit his high school home economics teacher Mrs. Ekatina St. Cheddar.

Rodman, who made world wide news by visiting North Korea and hanging out with that country's leader Kim Jong Un, said that Mrs. St. Cheddar is one of the few teachers he respected because she did not yell at him when he burned the Eggs Benedict, or the Peach Cobbler, or the Enchiladas Fettuccine.

While in Trenton Rodman, or The Worm as he was called during his NBA playing days, confessed to Tilapia Frisbee with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue that GOP political maven Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter had hit on him at a local tattoo parlor.

When asked what in the world Coulter was doing in a tattoo parlor Rodman grinned and replied that she had followed him there from his hotel room.

He disclosed that Coulter told him that she has always had a secret crush on him and Kanye West. But she was quick to point out that Kanye West is pretty much attached to Kim Kardashian.

Rodman said that Ann offered to pay for him to accompany her down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico where they would stay at Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler's Puffy Taco Resort & Casino.

He told her that there was no way that he could possibly work her into his busy schedule.

At that point Coulter became very upset and told him that he's not all that and that he really needs to get rid of some of the metal bling sticking out of his face.

As she turned to leave she shot him the GOP finger. Rodman laughed and said that she has about as much sex appeal as a fly swatter.

In A Non-Related Story. Bolivia's planned invasion of the Netherlands has been cancelled due to the fact that most of the equipment-carrying llamas have been taken ill with the dreaded llama flu.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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