Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 5 March 2013

image for Justin Bieber: I Got Me A Brand New Babe For My Birthday
If Ella-Paige Roberts Clarke plays her cards right she could end up with an awful lot of money.

LONDON - Justin Bieber says that he has just received the best birthday present that he has ever gotten and her name is Ella-Paige Roberts Clarke.

The British Tabloid Ta Ta For Now News reports that the two celebrated Bieber's 19th birthday at the exclusive, posh Crumpet Charlie's Lounge located in the heart of London.

The happy couple danced the night away to the sounds of the club's live band The Ovulating Camels of The Kalahari.

TTFNN's Loretta Piffinshaw reported that Justin's latest squeeze is a 17-year-old singer-model, but she acts more like she's 27.

Piffy, as Ms. Piffinshaw is called by Prince Charles, stated that Ella and Justin both have a mutual love for music, French kissing, and tattoos.

The teenage native of England revealed that as of now she has four tattoos; a musical G-Sharp note on her ring finger, the word friggin behind her left ear, a likeness of 60's British singer Petula Clark on her upper right thigh, and a tattoo of her favorite number 39,742 inked on the inside of her lower lip.

SIDENOTE: Reports are that Selena Gomez was contacted by iRumors and asked what she thought about Justin's behavior. Selena smiled politely and asked, "Justin? Which one Timberlake or Theroux?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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