Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 1 March 2013

image for American Idol: Mariah Carey Says Nicki Minaj Spends Way Too Much Time Fiddling With Her Hair
A photo of Nicki Minaj's personal makeup artist Jazzy Nippernoodle. (Photo courtesy of Randy Jackson).

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol has now managed to whittle the millions and millions of contestants down to the Top 20.

And according to TV critic Buckaroo Kazoo with TV Clickerworld he predicts that the Top 5 will include Angela Miller, Breanna Steer, Aubrey Cleland, Burnell Taylor, and Curtis Finch, Jr.

Kazoo says that he hates to predict a winner this early but he is going to bet $500 on Curtis to win it all.

Meanwhile judge Keith Urban has shown that he has ten times the energy, enthusiasm, and love for music than Steven Tyler had last year.

Urban is the first judge in the history of American Idol to actually know the words to every single song that the contestants sing and to sing along with them.

Keith has been told by the shows producers to please refrain from taking out his harmonica and accompanying the singers.

Randy "The Dawg" Jackson is still the same old Randy, uttering the same old phrase "Yo, Yo, Yo dawg" at least 4.5 times per show.

And Mariah "The Rack" Carey has got to be the nicest and sexiest music contest judge in the history of music contest shows.

An inside source said that the shows executives quietly asked her if she wouldn't mind showing as much cleavage as possible. Mariah giggled and replied, "You got it guys."

But Nicki Minaj on the other hand can be a real bitch as she is not shy to tell some of the young wannabes that she absolutely did not like their performance and to think about applying for a job at Walmart.

Mariah recently stated that one of Nicki's problems is that she thinks that the show is about her as evidenced by the fact that she is always fiddling with her hair and checking her caked on makeup in her handy hand mirror.

Ryan Seacrest is always smiling probably since he has one of the best looking and sexiest girlfriends in Tinsel Town Julianne Hough.

SIDENOTE: The shows producer stated that Woody The Wonder Woodchuck who appeared on the show last year and predicted each week which contestant would be going home will not be appearing on American Idol this year. Buckaroo Kazoo said that the producers of Dancing With The Stars lured Woody away by doubling his salary, giving him his very own dressing room, and providing him with a very frisky female woodchuck.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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