Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 1 March 2013

image for Carrie Fisher Blames All of Her Problems on Princess Leia
Carrie Fisher said that working on Star Wars made her extremely dizzy and hungry for nachos.

LOS ANGELES - Carrie Fisher recently stated that she feels that her stay at The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic is going to do her some good.

The 56-year-old daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher spoke with Kiowa Kettle of Tittle Tattle Tonight and revealed that her drinking and drug issues can be traced back directly to the character she played in The Star Wars saga, Princess Leia.

Carrie said that her recent backsliding and retrogression was all a direct result of that horrible time she spent playing that horrendously-haired harlot (her exact words).

The actress told Miss Kettle that living in the shadow of that Star Wars character for all of these years has turned her into a hyper worry wart prone to bountiful bouts of hysterical hysterics.

When asked to explain she replied that she is not a sex therapist, a marriage counselor, a psychologist, or a belly dancer.

Kettle asked her what it is about her Star Wars character that she hates. Fisher took a sip of her Hercules 7 Protein Power Drink and said that she hates the Princess Leia Bobblehead Dolls, the Princess Leia Wigs, and most of all the Princess Leia Tampons.

In Other News. Wynonna Judd is angry at the way that Joan Rivers criticized Adele for being overweight. Judd said that the only part of her body that Joan The Moan has not had botoxed, lifted, tucked, snipped, nipped, or tightened is her Adam's apple.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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