Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 28 February 2013

image for Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones Headed For May-December Splitsville
Catherine Zeta-Jones (shown above) has recently taken up rugby. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

EL SEGUNDO, California - Michael Douglas was recently seen at The Second Base Bar in El Segundo. The actor was sitting in a private booth all by himself.

A close friend, who did not want her name mentioned, stated that Michael, 68, has confided in her that he is afraid that his marriage to the much younger Catherine Zeta-Jones, who is 43, is headed for the rocky rocks.

He stressed that the stress from so many things have added to the inherent stress that he and Cat are both going through.

The actor stated that for one thing, his popularity with the movie going public has fallen so far down that he is now listed in most movie star power lists below Pee Wee Herman and Timpanello Van Girdle.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have no idea who the heck Timpanello Van Girdle is. I googled him and all I got was an advertisement for JC Penny girdles.]

Douglas also pointed out that Catherine has recently taken up such rigorous sports as mountain climbing, high cliff diving, and rugby.

Michael stated that he perfers to stay home and play Scrabble, watch old reruns of The Brady Bunch, and draw stick people.

SIDENOTE: Efforts to reach Catherine were fruitless as her answering machine stated that she was in Africa climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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