Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 28 February 2013

image for Dancing With The Stars Reveals The Season 16 Contestants
Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who raises pet snakes, will not be appearing on this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

HOLLYWOOD - Tom "Smiley" Bergeron, the host of Dancing With The Stars has just announced the new contestants for the 16th edition of the hit dancing show.

Bergeron said that the country music industry is well represented by two well-known artists Wynonna Judd and Kellie Pickler.

Tom said that Wynonna, who has an orangey tint about her, has been using Tan In A Can Spray for many years and will certainly fit right at home with the entire cast who are all somewhat addicted to spray on tanning.

Wynonna will be paired with popular DWTS dance instructor Tony Dovolani who several seasons ago had his hands full with Kate Gosselin, who seemed to fight the easy-going Tony every step of the way (no pun intended).

Tony recently revealed to Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight that he finally had to put his foot down (npi) and remind Mrs. Gosselin that he was the teacher and she was just the friggin student.

Kate reportedly told the shows executives that Dovolani could not speak to her like that and she was told that they would back Tony up 100 percent and told her to stop acting like a Madonna prima donna or a Naomi Campbell diva.

Appearing along with Judd and Pickler on the estrogen side will be Olympic figure skater Dorothy "The Hair" Hamil, Disney star Zendaya "Cutey" Coleman, Olympic gymnast Ali "Itty Bitty" Raisman, and the star of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules, Lisa "Moneybags" Vanderpump.

Over on the testosterone side will be Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jacoby "Throw Me Da Ball" Jones, Victor "El Boxer" Ortiz, D.L. "Funny Bro" Hughley, Ingo "Stalag" Rademacher, and Andy "The Dick" Dick.

SIDENOTE: An unnamed, inside source on DWTS has said that Woody The Wonder Woodchuck, who last year made the weekly loser predictions on American Idol, has just been signed to predict the weekly losers on Dancing With The Stars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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