Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: GRONK

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Gronk has gone viral, and it has nothing to do with social media. Gronk may be more bacterial than virus-based when it comes to infected tissue.

Playbook of the Western World and Eastern Division, Rob Gronkowski pulled out of the ultimate party in Hollywood at the Oscars this week.

Now we know what the damage may be.

Gronk had more surgery to deal with a nasty virus that was infecting his previous surgeries.

Sometimes penicillin is not enough to stop the virus from spreading when your break dancing is faster than a speeding magic bullet.

In Gronk's case, fans may attribute his latest foray into the medical books as a result of break dancing with a break in his arm.

More likely is that Gronk has simply developed a viral infection from the metal plates in his surgically repaired arm. He is not the bionic man, after all.

There is no truth to the rumors that he picked up the virus from his adult film star friends or feared he might spread it to his Hollywood starlet friends.

We predict that for the remainder of the off-season doctors will tell Gronk to stay off his killer lifestyle in order to heal.

Of course, in Gronk's case, time cures all heals. With time on his hands, the big tight end may be tempted to dance up a storm between now and the start of Patriots training camp.

Whether Gronk listens to anyone may be as big a mystery as the SETI satellite communications that go out into the big empty universe hoping to reach a receptive alien ear.

We trust someone will let Gronk know that a panacea is not always edible and potable.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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