Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 26 February 2013

image for Justin Bieber's Shocking Admission
Justin's back up singer Inez "Baby Doll" La Bamba says Justin is constantly pining over Selena.

RALEIGH, North Carolina - Justin Bieber traveled to Raleigh to visit a fan who was having her tonsils removed at The General Stonewall Jackson General Hospital.

After visiting the fan identified as 13-year-old Tyler "Tweety" Windenwalker, he spoke with some members of the music media.

Tilapia Frisbee with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue asked him if he had finally accepted the fact that he and ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez are never, ever getting back together again.

Bieber, who will turn 19, on March 1, smiled and said that she had just given him an idea for a song but he quickly added that Taylor Swift already beat him to it.

Justin has certainly had his share of problems lately with fast cars, marijuana, and carbohydrates.

He grinned and said that he looks upon Selena as a young Cleopatra and on himself as a young Mark Anthony.

He took a sip of his Pepsi Double Zero soft drink and said that he was going to make a shocking admission.

After regaining his composure he confessed to Miss Frisbee, that he's made up his mind that if Selena does not take him back by April 2 of this year, that he is going to give up the music business and move to the Himalayan Mountains where he will raise yaks.

SIDENOTE: Piers Morgan recently interviewed Justin and the Canadian singer told him that he actually preferred to breed elephants instead of yaks but that they are way too noisy, they cost a fortune to feed, and they have a tendency of making one hell of a mess.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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