Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 24 February 2013

image for Dancing With The Stars' Maksim Chmerkovskiy Hanging Up His Dancing Shoes
Maksim has decided to hang up his dancing shoes after 15 seasons on DWTS. (Photo by Bruno Tonioli).

MARINA DEL REY - Maksim Chmerkovskiy was sitting at The Drunk Duck Lounge having some drinks with some of his friends when he dropped a bombshell on them.

The Ukrainian dancer, who is known as The Bad Boy of The Ballroom because of his lightning quick temper, informed them that he will not be returning for another season of Dancing With The Stars.

Maks said that there were several reasons for his decision. He stated that for one, he has finally gotten fed up with British judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman constantly criticizing him and his dancing partners.

He noted that Len has some kind of a problem because anytime that he would dance without a shirt Goodman would go crazy and really hammer their dance routine possibly because he is borderline homophobic.

Chmerkovskiy also noted that he had his fill of Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli always openly flirting with him and acting as if there was something going on between them.

And the hot-tempered Russian did not hold back on Carrie Ann "The Cougar" Inaba who was especially hard on him because, as he believes, he had rejected her passioned advances on four occasions.

Maksim did say that he is going to miss the silly little way that the shows host Tom Bergeron acted and pretended that he did not like his partner and him pinching him on his behind after the judges critiques.

Chmer, as noted Left Coast attorney Ginger Allred calls him, said that he wants to get into the motion picture business.

He smiled with a half smirk and said that he knows that he can give the likes of Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Tom Hanks a run for their money.

SIDENOTE: Many Dancing With The Stars viewers wondered if Maksim, 33, and Kirstie Alley, 62, had an off-the-show affair going on. Maks laughed and replied, "In Kirstie's eyes, her and I were practically engaged and she was hoping to have my baby."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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