Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 February 2013

image for Kat Von D Admits She Wants Jesse James Back
Sawyer "The Needleman" Frazzlewater placing a tattoo on Barbara Walters left upper thigh.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kat Von D was in West Holly visiting the most famous tattoo artist in the country, Sawyer "The Needleman" Frazzlewater.

Frazzlewater has tattooed some of the most famous celebrities on both coasts.

He has given Kat some of her most memorable tattoos including the one of Abraham Lincoln, on her bikini line, which she truly cherishes.

The Needleman also deals in highly intimate tattoos. He proudly boasts that he has tattooed Rihanna's labia minora, Cheryl Cole's labia majora, and Ke$ha's left tonsil.

Frazz, as Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest calls him, is one of the few tattoo artists in the entire United States who also tattoos animals.

He remarked that last year he tattooed Paris Hilton's pet dachshund, Mr. Wiener.

But he says that his all-time favorite client is Kat Von D. He pointed out that she is one of the few individuals who he has tattooed that literally has over a dozen erogenous zones.

He happily noted that they spend a lot of the tattoo time simply giggling, drinking wine, and talking semi-vulgar.

The tat artist noted that Kat Von D told him that she still pines for her ex-fiancé Jesse James and she wants him back no questions asked.

She said that it has taken some time but she feels that she can honestly say that she finally forgives Jesse The Weasel for having his 19 affairs while they were engaged.

Kat said that she went through months and months of two-hour sessions with her sex therapist Dr. Pomeroy P. Flibberflax.

But she is now certain that she has gotten past the sheer embarrassment, the feelings of low self-esteem, the innumerable bouts of degradation, and the multitudinous fits of depression.

In Holiday News. February 24, is National Tortilla Chip Day except in Arizona, which banned Tortilla Chips in May of 2012.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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