Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 18 February 2013

image for Papped Kate baby scan pics posted online
Reptilian exoderm just visible in the background

Cyberspace - Bootleg online images of Kate Middleton's second trimester brat have been traced to London's Royal Freak Hospital's ultrasound department.

They show a previously unrecorded species gestating in her rent-a-bun-oven amid rumors that a mystery donor was behind its fertilization.

"So far we've counted two horns, four legs and a tail," a BumsNet.con moderator commented, "flailing from a shiny green jellyfish-shaped embryo.

"Still, that's exactly how her firstborn brat - whatssisname, Justin Bieber - looked like before shedding its exoderm scales along with the fangs."

Publication of the snaps has been condemned by Buckingham Palace which hired Kate in an act of desperation to perpetuate a sordid genome long past its sell-by.

Since then millions of pounds of taxpayer dosh has protected Her Royal Irrelevance from public screwtiny.

A copy of the 2011 prenup also posted online 'completely exonerates' Bieber's birth father but names him as David Cameron.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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