Spoof Political Correspondent Phani Tikkla has been handed a file through Whitehall sources stating that UK Prime Minister David Cameron has joined the successful boy band 'One Direction' in a last bid attempt to woo younger voters into the Tory Party.
The English-Irish-Muslim mix pop boy band based in London, consisting of members Niall Horan (Irish) , Zayn Malik (Muslim), Liam Payne (Irish), Harry Styles (British), and Louis Tomlinson (British). Have signed with Simon Cowell's record label Syco Records after being formed and finishing third in the seventh series of British television singing competition The X-Ploitation Factor in 2010.
A Whitehall spokesperson, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said today, 'whilst at Eton, the young David Cameron had always had an interest in art. Six weeks before taking his O-Levels he was caught smoking cannabis. He admitted the offence and had not been involved in selling drugs, so he was not expelled, but was fined, prevented from leaving school grounds, and given a 'Georgic' (a punishment which involved being whipped naked by 500 Monks whilst reciting Latin text and smoking a bong).
Band member and all round shagaholic Harry Styles spoke about the new addition to the band today at a press conference stating: 'we are happy to have David Cameron join the band, to be honest we always thought the band was lacking something and that was some good weed... I'm sure David will be able to 'hook us up' to some top government weed'.
Styles went on to deny that he was back with US hit sensation Taylor Swift, stating that she was 'like a sack of potatoes in the sack' and that he was looking at applying for the job for UN Special Envoy so he could 'fix something somewhere in case it was broken or something' and that Cameron would 'Hook him Up' with a top role somewhere doing 'something UN like somewhere' like the UN usually does.
The House was in disarray today as Opposition leader Ed Milliband responded to PM's Questions with a song from his favourite Dutch bothers duo Milli Vanilli, stating that he would be joining the duo for a campaign to save Africa from colonialism in a new single to be released to coincide with black history month.
A Number 10 spokesperson said today that The Prime Minister was unavailable for comment 'as he had the munchies and was playing his X-Box and refusing to come out of his bedroom'.