Written by Ossurworld
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Saturday, 16 February 2013

When we linked Dwight Howard and Rajon Rondo several years ago, we believed they would team up, not pass like ships in the night.

We still dispute any trade rumors about the tandem mercurial players. If they played together, any game plan and success would depend on whether they had dyspepsia from their supper together the night before.

We hate to raise the ugly specter of pillow talk about professional athletes, though with Howard and Rondo you cannot dispel the curious possibility.

At an all-star game several years ago, in happier times, the two stars looked like the future of happy investments and low mortgage rates. Since then, the market has collapsed, and now there is water in the cellar of that property you cannot sell.

Who can forget the happy photo of Dwight lifting Rondo up to the basket for a dunk like Rudolph Nureyev serving up Dame Margot during a pas de deux.

Nowadays they are regarded as likely a couple as Kris and Kim. Worse yet, financially, Dwight will pull in about $20million this year, and Rondo will net about $1million.

We can almost see the fault lines developing on payday.

Today they look like geriatric versions of their younger selves, medically prevented from shock and awe on the court.

Their respective general managers may want to unload them, but have assured fans that the mountains are not going anywhere short of wind erosion. The media seems to be gusty as usual, which may help.

According to Dante's Inferno, Rondo and Howard belong together in the circle under the net. Instead, they are up a tree and cannot get down.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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