Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

image for Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue - Kate Upton Makes The Cover Again
A photo of Kate Upton's dressing room in Antarctica 30 minutes after the heater had stopped working.

CHICAGO - The much anticipated annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has arrived and millions of red blooded American males are happily hootin and hollerin over SI's cover choice.

Kate Upton has made a second splash by once again winning the coveted cover and having her well-endowed body ogled and ogled again by the sports lovin, beer-drinkin tailgaters of America.

This year the SI shoot took place in Antarctica, which makes places like Buffalo, New York and International Falls, Minnesota seem like equatorial cities by comparison.

Word is that the temperatures in the land way down yonder can get down to minus 187 degrees with a wind chill factor of minus 203.

The 20-year-old Michigan native, who says she loves the cold weather, told Sports Balls Illustrated Daily reporter Sherwood Frisbee that her only concern was that her already big pencil eraser nip*les would get bigger and tear her blouse.

Her photographer, Picasso Mandolin, who is considered to be the best photographer in the world, told her not to worry because he had brought along dozens and dozens of extra blouses just to deal with that distinct possibility.

Kate disclosed to Frisbee that she will be appearing on upcoming episodes of several reality shows including Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, The Muffin Makers, and The Tamale Wars.

SIDENOTE: For those fashionista's out there - on the SI cover Kate is wearing a Mallard Duck Chilliwack Bombardier Coat, which was donated by Macy's.

Sports Illustrated Cover Credits: Kate's lipstick is from Cover Cutey. Her earrings are courtesy of Bling Bling Babe of Baltimore. Her perfume is Eau du Libido. And she is wearing Lady Speed Stick Deodorant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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