Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

image for Chelsea Handler and Madonna Get Into Some Trash Talking
A pair of sneakers that Ian Somerhalder purchased in Paris for Nina Dobrev. (Photo taken by Ashton Kutcher).

MALIBU BEACH - Sparks recently flew at a Hawaiian Luau Beach Party that Rob Pattinson threw in honor of Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, stars of the television hit series The Vampire Diaries.

The party was held at RPattz Malibu Beach house The Vampire Villa.

According to an unnamed guest who did not want her name revealed, Chelsea Handler went up to Madonna, who had not been invited, and asked to see her party invitation.

Madonna asked "And just who the hell are you? Oprah "Friggin" Winfrey or what?

Handler took a sip of her Portuguese Piña Colada and told Madonna that she knows that she had not been invited because she was in charge of sending out the party invitations and she did not recall sending out one for her.

Madonna told her that she must have forgotten since she's got the reputation of drinking like an effen Sahara Desert camel.

The 37-year-old TV show hostess turned as red as a Tallahassee tomato and told Madonna that she really needed to leave because she was starting to scare some of the guests with her zombie-looking face.

"Your mama!" Madonna shouted.

"Your mama's mama!" Handler fired back.

Just then a smiling Russell Brand jumped in and told both females that if they had so much sexual tension that he would be more than glad to take them both into one of the back bedrooms and participate in a fun-filled ménage-à-trois no questions asked.

The 54-year-old Madonna smiled and nodded approvingly.

Chelsea spit on the floor and said that she would rather have quasi-sex with an intoxicated ostrich and a crack-smoking Shetland pony that to go anywhere near either of them.

Kathy Griffin overheard the conversation and told Russell that she would go with him and (Maddie) and complete their threesome.

In Movie News. Frankie Avalon, 73, has just joyously informed the entertainment media that he will soon begin filming his 80th beach film which is titled, Beach Blanket Planking.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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