Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 February 2013

image for John Mayer Says Katy Perry Is A Keeper
Mayer says that he only uses the most expensive tennis balls which he imports from Portugal. (Photo taken by Katy Perry).

VENICE BEACH - John Mayer was spotted at the swank Seashell Sal's Sporting Stuff Shop searching for a brand new tennis racket.

A close friend stated that Johnny, who's 35, had recently ruined two expensive tennis rackets when he tossed them against the tennis court in a fit of rage over losing to Gary Busey, 68.

The close friend identified as Belton "Bongo" Dapperdoolin, 34, was asked how things were going between John and his latest girlfriend Katy Perry.

Bongo, who has known Mayer since grade school, replied that he hasn't seen him as happy as he is now since he French kissed his sixth grade teacher Candice Tippintucker.

He then commented that Johnny has told him at least seven times that 28-year-old Katy is definitely a keeper.

Mayer, who is known as Mayer The Player, due to his reputation for being a love 'em and leave 'em type or a low-life, pompous jerk as Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin calls him, has confided to several very close friends including Andy Dick that KP has the best looking rack in Tinsel Town.

In Late Breaking News. Reports are that Sarah Palin is so depressed at being ignored by the news media that she is considering moving to Lower Zamgola, Africa, and becoming a lion hunting guide.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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