Written by Ducksley
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Tuesday, 12 February 2013

The US Coast Guard was kept busy this morning plucking hundreds of passengers out of the water after they jumped overboard to avoid the singing of David Hasselhoff.

Party Cruise Lines later released an apologetic statement saying they were "just trying to help" when they paid to have Hasselhoff flown by helicopter to the crippled SS Party Triumph.

"It was positively dreadful," said 68 year old passenger Pretzella Nunt. "When he started singing Jump in My Car, I jumped over the railing," she added.

The Coast Guard reported that many passengers refused get out of the water and re-board the ship until Hasselhoff left.

"They said they'd rather tread water than listen to him sing," said Chief Petty Officer Sterling Zickle. Hasselhoff was later flown back to shore.

"The Titanic band would have been preferable," complained passenger Oleander Moo.

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