WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House recently received a certified letter addressed to President Obama.
White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax informed the White House press corps that the letter was from Justin Bieber, the singer.
In the 193-word letter Bieber expressed his sincerest apologies to the President, the first lady, the two first kiddoes, and to every single man, woman, and child living in the United States.
He said he was ashamed as heck that he was caught smoking pot. Bieber stated that the fact that he had said that he was merely holding it for someone who had gone to the bathroom is neither here nor there.
The Canadian-born singer remarked that he is afraid that now that he has a reputation for being a weed smoker it is really going to be difficult to try and win back the love of his ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez.
Bieber went on to say that to show how sorry he really and truly is he will be donating all of the proceeds from his new single, "Just Say No To Marijuana Dammit!" to The First Lady's White House Presidential Christmas Party Fund.
To see first hand what the effects of smoking a dozen marijuana joints in a 24-hour period does to laboratory squirrels, anteaters, and roosters go to www.cannabissmokinganimals.wow.