Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 10 February 2013

image for Kate Gosselin: I Fantasize About Charlie Sheen
Kate says that she hasn't been with a man in quite a while. (Photo by Mindy Lulu Lickenfeister).

PEORIA, Illinois - Kate Gosselin has been keeping a low profile as of late, but the former star of two reality shows Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8 is still looking to bask in the celebrity spotlight.

The 37-year-old Gosselin was in Peoria visiting an old family friend identified as Buffy Winklewicki.

She recently stated that she is thrilled to say that her eight kids are not as bratty as when she was dating Steven Tyler, former American Idol judge or Russell Brand, former husband of Katy Perry.

She pointed out that a lot of the credit has to go to her long time live-in nanny Mindy Lulu Lickenfeister who has really done a number on keeping the two older twin girls, who are 12, and the six sextuplets, who are 8, in line.

She was recently asked by Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight about her love life. She smiled and replied that her love life is a perfect zero, or nada as George Lopez would say.

De Gallo asked her why a good looking, attractive, woman with bedroom eyes like hers has not gone out on a date in a while.

Kate got a tear in her eye and replied that she thinks it's because a lot of men feel that they are just not good enough for her.

She added that when she has on her make up, and her hair is beautifully combed, and she's dressed in a tight-fitting blouse, and a short miniskirt that she looks a lot like a very young Jennifer Aniston.

Kate did reveal that lately she has been having sexual fantasies about Charlie Sheen.

She said that she has never met him, but she would appreciate someone getting the word to him that Kate "The Great" Gosselin would love to go out to dinner with him and afterwards possibly engage in a bit of mattress rah rah rahing as they call it in Mobile, Alabama.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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