Written by dutch
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Topics: Kim Kardashian

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Celebrity Magazine "Bithcy Do-Dah" has revealed that Kim Kardashian has been faking her pregnancy. The celebrity socialite has become jealous of rival Beyonce's baby doll.

An insider said, "Kim has wanted to have her own 're-born' doll baby. She wants to keep up with Beyonce and have a designer baby doll."

Beyonce is furious that Kim Kardashian is trying to steal the lime-light by faking a pregnancy. She was exhausted by performing at the Superbowl and by lip-synching at the Presidential inauguration.

Kim was fascinated by how Beyonce faked her pregnancy by having a false bump and dancing around with it on television. Kanye wants to keep up with pal Jay-Z and has told his 'bitch' Kim that he wants to by a daddy.

Poor Kim wants to have an accessory doll baby like Beyonce and has ordered a mixed race re-born from the same company that Knowles purchased Blue Ivy.

A distraught Beyonce said, "I told the dude at the Baby Reborn Centre that the mold had to be broken with Blue Ivy and it was a bespoke item. She is furious that Kim has ordered an identical doll-baby and is as mad as pal Michelle Obama was at the presidential debate when Romney gave Barack a drubbing.

Furious Beyonce is reported to be seeking to get even with Kim Kardashian and she is going to get a special agent to pop Kim's butt implant and to burst Kanye's bubble.

Jay-Z has told his pal to get his 'bitch' under control otherwise he will get him black balled from the Black Illuminati.

Kim has been gradually moving on to a six week designer bump and has been pretending to go to the gym everyday in black grungy gear without make-up but has really been going to Starbuck's for a Danish and a fall fat latte to try and gain precious 'baby weight'. A worried insider said, "Kim has trouble distinguishing fact from fantasy and really believes there is a plastic baby inside her."

Team Kim and Kanye are still carrying on with their publicity stunt and are confident that they can fake the pregnancy and pretend their fake doll-baby is genuine.

It is no coincidence that Kim's royal friend Kate Cambridge is also 'expecting' the two glamour pusses are taking advice from the Sisters of Satan about carrying on their ancient bloodlines and they have been told to watch "Rosemary's Baby" for advice about Satanic birth rituals.

A fake birth certificate has already been forged by the Oval Office by fellow reptilian Barack Obama who has sworn allegiance to the new 'queen' which is due to be born in the summer. Presidential aides said Barack and Michelle are so excited that they are planning the blood sacrifice of Hillary Clinton by the Washington Freemason Lodge. It is understood that the 'old girl' has been put out to grass and will be replaced by the shiny new doll baby. A new Designer Pyramid Condo is being built for the Kim and Kanye and the new baby with a deluxe gold cot for the baby complete with full plastic doll accessories.

One of Kim's entourage said, "Of course Kim is mostly plastic and so does not mind have a synthetic baby as long as it is cute and she can pose in celebrity magazines with it in the nude."

Beyonce is not too happy about it and has told Jay-Z not to be friends with Kanye and his new lady and she has had a Kim Kardashian voodoo doll made. The Knowles clan would like nothing better than for Kim Kardashian's plastic butt to explode under the pressure of her faked pregnancy. The happy couple are said to be planning to call the new arrival K-Zomby.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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