Written by Ossurworld
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Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Beyonce blew a fuse. Other speculation centers on one of her dancers tripping over a cord plugged into the central arena socket.

Not since 18 minutes disappeared off of President Richard Nixon's Dictaphone has there been such an egregious mystery. At the Superdome, 34 minutes have gone into cyberspace, never to be returned.

The best gumbo gumshoes in the Big Easy have been left in the dark. Sources have said evidence pointing to the culprit and cause of the blackout have been collected by NFL officials and sent to an underground bunker at Area 51, never to see the light of day.

The mystery of the blackout at the Superdome has become something of a Darktown Strutters Ballgame. And we aren't whistling Dixie.

Theories have been postulated that the power failure came from a black hole not in Calcutta to blaming electrical chain reactions from the audience to Beyonce's half-time frenzy having undone electrons.

Solar flares would have taken nine minutes to reach the Superdome, which corresponds to the time after Beyonce's staging was dismantled and the 49ers were energized.

Southern sympathizers blamed the Northern Lights. And a spokesperson for Hurricane Katrina said she was beyond the statute of limitations on this one, Brownie.

Most believe it was impossible that a brain drain led to the power failure because it looked like both teams were led by a bunch of players who were dim bulbs all season. It seemed only natural that they would need someone to light a candle to find their way.

There was no light in the loafers at the Super Bowl, and there was no wardrobe malfunction, but unlimited halftime hips may have sunk the lip-syncers at the Superdome.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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