Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 30 January 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan's Lawyer: "That's It, I Quit - Lohan The Flake Is On Her Own"
Lindsay sitting in her luxurious room at The Hotel Millard Fillmore in New York City.

LOS ANGELES - Shawn Holley, who was up until this week, Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, has got to be one of the most patient women in the entire United States.

Holley has tried her best to help the little, misguided Hollywood rich girl, but all to no avail.

As Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo noted, Ms. Holley would have been better off trying to defend that evil, demonic Charles Manson.

Holley told Tinsel Town reporters that she's had it and that she quits. She went on to say that LiLo Lohan AKA The Flake is now on her own.

Reports are that the 26-year-old freckle-faced starlet immediately hired the services of New York City lawyer Mark "The Bark" Heller, who says he will take the case pro bono adding that the publicity alone will be worth millions of dollars.

Meanwhile Lohan says that she cannot travel to California because she has a case of athlete's foot that has spread to her knees and upper thighs region.

Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner is not impressed and said that she is seriously considering placing the LaLaLand celebutante in The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women for 246 days on grounds of probation violation, unmitigated gall, and overall stupidity.

SIDENOTE: Lindsay reportedly called up Jimmy Kimmel and asked him to please tell Judge Sautner that she means well but it is just that she keeps getting involved with the wrong crowd.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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