Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 24 January 2013

Manti Te'o, your girlfriend is a boy.

This may be worse than a boy named Sue for Manti.

As a big hunky Samoan, Manti may be appealing to a wide spectrum of humanity-and a few dogs too.

The lawyer for the alleged scam creator and friend of Manti has revealed the truth. The mysterious Tuiasosopo is a young Samoan who is actually a drama queen.

Yes, Tuiasosopo was head of his high school drama club and apparently donned a skirt for over 100 hour-long cell phone calls to his dupe, pretending to be a girlfriend.

That's a lot of phone sex without a text in sight. No self-effacing girl will Skype without makeup.

It was love at first non-sight when Tuiasosopo's girl didn't want a sou, or a cent.

Granted, Manti has come across in his interviews with Katie Couric as intellectually challenged, though he calls it embarrassed. However, in his culture, as his father indicates, a liar is just a fibber.

We can presume that Tuiasosopo didn't lie about being a girl, just played a fibber. Manti has to know that Tuiasosopo is not only the girl who can't say no, but he can't wash that man out of his hair.

We are reminded of the ending of Billy Wilder's crossdressing comedy Some Like It Hot when Jack Lemmon ripped off his wig and announced, "I'm a man," after wooing his millionaire boyfriend.

The immortal Joe E. Brown smiled and said, "Honey, nobody's perfect."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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