Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 20 January 2013

image for Kim Kardashian Very Depressed Over Swatting Incident
One of the Hollywood Police Department helicopters that responded to the Kardashian home swatting incident.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim "Baby Bump" Kardashian has just informed the entertainment media that she is so angry and so depressed about the latest swatting incident that she could literally spit screws.

The still married girlfriend of Kanye West was referring to the 911 call that was made stating that a meteorite had landed smack dab in the middle of the Kardashian home.

The caller went on to say that several vagrants had entered the home and were holding Kim, Khloe, and Mama Kardashian-Jenner hostage.

As a result the dispatcher sent over a 16-man SWAT team, along with 3 helicopters, and an M-47 Patton tank valued at $275,000.

When they arrived they found that the Kardashian clan was sitting around the big screen TV watching an on-demand episode of Modern Family starring the voluptuously sexy Sofia Vergara, of Pepsi commercial fame.

Needless to say the Kardashian women were all shocked to see the police presence. Kim immediately asked what in the world they were doing.

Khloe jumped in and said that they do not have any drugs in the house and noted that the only kinds of pills they have are Viagra pills that belong to their step-father Bruce Jenner.

After searching the house officers ascertained that there was no meteorite anywhere on the premises.

Police officer Diego Pallasalla explained that it was just another incident of the ever popular fad known as swatting.

He informed the family that swatting is illegal and if the person who called in the incident is caught he or she will be fined $35,000 and will also be incarcerated in The Hopalong Cassidy Correctional Facility in Tarzana, for anywhere from 3 to 9 months.

Recent celebrities who have fallen victim to the swatting fad include Tom Cruise, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Ashton Kutcher, Simon Cowell, and Avalonia McBricker.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I had no idea who Avalonia McBricker is so I called up Abel and he told me that she was Kristen Stewart's vampire double in the Twilight Saga movies.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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