Written by Ossurworld
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Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Believe it or not: there are tickets available for the daunting and vaunted Ravens-Patriots match on Sunday for the AFC championship- likely because New Englanders love PBS Masterpiece Classics.

Perhaps several thousand tickets flounder at the box office because New England fans are spoiled by the decade of success and visits to the Super Bowl.

Perhaps too the fans of New England are saving their pennies to buy a ticket to New Orleans for the big game-or perhaps they are saving their dollars to pay for the huge tax hike that Mass.Governor Deval Patrick is planning.

There is no word yet on how much of a luxury tax will be placed on Pats' tickets. The true aficionado knows that you buy the tickets and then claim they are a business expense to get your face on television. You kill two birds with that stone.

You may also think that New England weather could be a fearsome factor for everyone except Tom Brady. However, forecasts suggest the weather on Sunday will be milder than Ray Lewis at his retirement party.

Yes, 50-yard line tickets are available, but the problem is likely that high falutin' fans who can afford those seats are probably planning their Sunday evening at home, watching the next episode of Downton Abbey.

Sources tell us that gay valet Thomas is going to meet the footman of his dreams at Downton. That trumps football when the footballer of your dreams is likely drunk in the Gillette Stadium stands by half-time-and Brendon Ayanbadejo will be unreachable on the field.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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