Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 13 January 2013

image for Kristen Stewart Devastated At Rob Pattinson's Remarks
Avalonia McBricker was Kristen's stunt double in her latest Twilight Saga film.

HOLLYWOOD - Christmas time was not a very happy time for the star of The Twilight Saga series, Kristen Stewart.

Reports are that Stewart and her on-again, off-again boyfriend Rob Pattinson argued and fought back and forth like the LaLaLand version of the Hatfields and McCoys.

Of course none of the Hatfield or McCoy girls looked anywhere near as gloomy or mopey as K-Stew.

In fact Joan "The Moan" Rivers recently told her good friend Kelly Osbourne that Kristen looks more like a vampire than all of the actresses who have ever portrayed a vampire including Nina Dobrev, Vanessa Hudgens, Salma Hayek, Kate Beckinsale, and Chelsea Handler.

A source close to K-Stew recently informed Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that Pattinson has confided to a close friend, believed to be either Steven Tyler or Metta World Peace, that his relationship with Stewart has gone totally sour.

He then pointed out that to give an example of how sour it actually is, he said that it is as sour as the personality of the man with the irritatingly grating voice from the depths of deepest hell - Gilbert Gottfried.

Reports are that Stewart was positively devastated when she heard about Rob's remarks from her hair stylist FuFi Fondue.

SIDENOTE: RPattz has said that as of now he hopes to make a complete break once and for all with Kristen before Super Bowl Sunday, which is February 3.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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