Written by Jeff Brone

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Topics: Hollywood, asshole

Saturday, 12 January 2013

Dirk Moncrief, star of the action film "DieWalker" series, was recently voted the nicest guy in Tinseltown, and referred to by many as "Way less of a douchebag than most other Hollywood celebrities."

One key grip explained that while Moncrief will "only drink a certain brand of bottled water, and demands that it be flown in from Colorado every day, he hardly ever sends it back if it's not chilled to exactly 38 degrees." The lowly menial laborer added that "Heck, I've seen him drink it when it was close to 42 degrees and not even complain or try to get anyone fired."

A former personal secretary of the star said that "Moncrief's a class act" and "when he begins talking about political situations that he knows nothing about, he actually lets other people state opposing opinions before telling them they're wrong. We need more people like him!"

Moncrief said he "was thrilled to win the honor" and stated "I always remember to treat the people I meet on the way up with only a moderate amount of disdain and dismissal, because you'll meet those people on the way down. " He then added "well, I won't, but someone will. Some loser probably."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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