Written by Buck E Filbert
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Tuesday, 8 January 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan's Inaction Threatens U.S. Economy
Lindsay Lohan Was Boring Today

For the last three days straight Lindsay Lohan did nothing bad. She didn't threaten her own freedom by lying, stealing or driving while under the influence. She was low key.

Wall Street Investors and Las Vegas book makers were shocked and appalled by this turn of events. It seems Lindsay Lohan has become more than just a young troubled lady, she's an industry unto herself.

"I know people that invest massive amounts of other peoples money on which way Lindsay might fly that day", said one Wall Street insider, "it may not be scientific, but she's like a biological, bull market barometer".

Las Vegas bookmakers have been taking bets on what Lindsay might do from one day to the next, very few will admit to it, she's become the gamblers guilty pleasure.

The Government held special sessions inquiring into her recent behavior. "Lindsay has become a big part of the American way of life, she fuels our economy from within", said Congressman La Brea, representative for the Miracle Mile in Los Angeles.

Three days is a veritable drought for Lindsay and if she doesn't do something soon an entire country could fall.

From Sunset and Vine in beautiful downtown Hollywood California 90028
BEF
vagina

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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